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The Longer You've Been Married...

The more you dislike their CRUNCHING sounds

When we were dating I don’t think I ever heard him crunch a single chip, pretzel, or bite of cereal. Fourteen years later, I can hear him crunching a tortilla chip from the kitchen down the hall, though our bedroom, and into our closet, ha! Infatuation covers a multitude of habits, but love keeps perspective on the petty issues.

You realize GRACE is so much easier than GRUDGES

It doesn’t matter if they never replace the toilet paper roll or if they have hurt you much deeper holding a grudge is painful. Grace is so much easier to extend than to hold onto the hurt and keep a grudge. The enemy wants to turn little things like toilet paper rolls into big issues and he wants to take hurtful moments and let them sit like infection in your heart. But we get to choose to let it go and embrace grace. We must learn to let grace be a cyclical gift in marriage, I’ve received it and I give it, over and over and over.

You understand LOVE is more than something you FEEL, it is something you DO

Yes, love is something we feel towards our spouse, but true love moves beyond a feeling and into action. Love is serving one another day in and day out. Love is the teamwork it takes to make marriage and family last. Feelings can fool us, we can feel love so passionately one day and the next the feeling is missing in action.When we don’t feel love if we keep serving love will always be present.

You recognize DATE NIGHT is important

Date night can look different for everyone. Budget, time, tired, or whatever else should never be an excuse. When we were first married, we had no money and were exhausted, but almost every night we sat down together talked and enjoyed a short TV show together. Fourteen years later that is still our favorite thing to do together. Just the two of us talking and watching a show. Yes, we do go on other dates occasionally, but this is what works for us. I know others who have a weekly outing as their date night. It’s important to find what works for you and do that because the goal is to still like each other after your kids are gone.


When Brad and I got married, he was the most attractive man to me and I was the most beautiful woman to him. But I look back at our wedding photos and look at us now and he more attractive now than he has ever been. There is a little less muscle and a little greyer hair but there is a man who continually strives to be the best man he can be for our boys and myself. It’s a beautiful thing to see years of love and effort show up in wrinkles on our faces and grey on heads.

Marriage is a beautiful gift from God, but it takes grit, effort, and grace.

If you are divorced, let the goodness of God heal your heart and embrace the future He has planned for you.

If you are single, passionately pursue Christ, His goodness will prepare your heart and will lead you to your perfect match in time. Don’t hurry, wait for the one, it is so worth it.

If you are married, 1 month or 75 years, share with me something you’ve learned in marriage.

God is so good to give us the gift of love, let us choose to embrace His love for us so that we can better love those around us.

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